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I Orphans’ Friend. Price, $1 a year.) OXFORD, N. C.,AUGUST 10,1883. (VOL. IX. NO. 12. “YE ARBMYWIT1TESSE5." Tell me, pilgrim, faiat and weary, “ Travelling o’er this pathway dim, Are'you shedding light around you, Are you witnessing for Him? Do you try to tell the story Of the pr^iouB Saviour’s love, Are you hungering and tliirsting Evermore your love to prove? Are you seeking out the lost ones Whom the Master died to win, Are you showing them the tountain That can wash away their sin? Are you looking by the wayside For the weary ones who fall, Do you take them to the Saviour, Who has promised rest for all? Do you love to read the Bible, Is it precious to your soul? Are its tr^jasures growing richer, As you travel toward the goal? Do yon love to talk of lesus More than all the world beside. Does it bring, a holy comfort With his people to abide? Have you made a consecration Of your time and earthly store? If your all is on the altar, Then the Master asks no more. Thus, O pilgrim, should we journey. Showing forth the Master’s praise, With our lamps all trimmed and burning. That tile world may catch their rays. USE OF Bia WOEBS. “He goes on his own hook,” has been rendered more ele gantly, in deference to and in accordance with the spirit of the times, in this manner: “He progresses on his own personal curve;” and a barber in London advertises that “his customers ere shaved without incision or laceration for the microscopic sum of one half-penny.’’ “One might have heard a pin fall,'^ is a proverbial expression of 8i» lence; but it has been eclipsed by the French phrase, “You might hear the unfolding of a lady’s cambric pocket hand kerchief;” and as it is some what vulgar to say “pitch darkness,’’ it has been so im proved as tojread “bituminous obspurit^^^ Another polite way of expressing the fact that a man is naturally lazy, is to say that he is “constitution ally tired;’* and “Nominate your poison,” is the poetical way of asking, “What will you drink?” On one occasion, we are told, a doctor of divinity rung the changes on “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.” “He that is accessible to au ricular vibration,said the doctor, “let him not close the gates of his tympana.” Then again we have that old-fash ioned saying, “The more the merrier,” delightfully transla ted in this way, “Multitudi nous assemblages are the most provocative of cachina- tory hilarity.’' It is even re ported that not very long ago a clergyman spoke of seeing a young lady “with the pearl drops of affection hanging and glistening on her cheek.” He meant that she was cry ing. Certain critics, too, oc casionlly launch out in a sim ilar metaphorical style. Con cerning a young and aspiring orator, one wrote: “He broke the ice felicitously, and was immediately drowned with applause.’’ Quite recently a literary man of some celebrity, in a letter describing the early fall of snow in Switzerland, did not say the storm abated, but “the flakes dwindled to floc- culil” and instead of vulgarly putting it that they melted a pot full of snow to obtain wa ter, he said that firewood was “expended in rendering its own heart latent in the indis pensable fluid.'’ Equally as good was that which relates to a certain eminent professor, who observed that very won derful things were occasional ly discovered nowadays. He had found out lately that “Nystagmus, or oscillation ot the eye-balls, is an epilepti form affection of the cerepelK ular oculomotorial centres;” and he added: “Don’t forget in future what sort of a thing a ‘nystagmus’ is.’ “You have mentioned sev eral times during the even ing,” observed one of the au dience to a lecturer, “the word “periphrasis;” would you kindly inform me of its precise meaning?” “Certain ly,” said he. “It is simply a circumlocutory and plenastic circle of oratorical sonorosity, circumscribing an atom of ideality, lost in verbal profun dity.” As this explanation was received in solemn silence we trust it was deemed a sat isfactory one. It is, however recorded that the gifted orator was not called upon again to explain for the rest of the evening. London possesses phraseol ogy of its own, and is at times rather amusing than other wise. Two pedestrians were recently accosted in terms the most magniloquent by a street-beggar: “Good gentle men, will you kindly admin ister the balm of consolation to a wrecked and debilitated constitution?” “Our ’buses,” said a con-, ductor in answer to an inquiry made, “runs a quarter arter, arf arter, quarter to, and at!” A young man from the coun try, while exploring one of the quiet lanes in the city tor a dinner, had his ears myste riously saluted by a shrill voice from an eating-house, which uttered in rapid tones the following incomprehensi ble jargon; “Biledlamancap.* ersors, Rosebeefrosegoo8,Biie- r a b b itbileporkanonionsors, Bosemuttonantaters, Biledam- ancabbagevegetables, walkin- sirtakeaseatsir!’ Sometimes, in ordinary con versation, we find people very apt to make use of a partic ular sentence, or a somewhat puzzling word even, with merely a vague idea of its proper meaning. T ake the lowing as an instance. A rich but ignorant lady, who was rather ambitious in her conversational style, in speak ing of a friend, said: “He is a paragram, of politeness.” “Excuse me,” said a wag sit ting next to her, “but do you not mean a paralleolgram?” “Of course I do,” immediately replied the lady. “How could I have made such a mis take?’ ' It is well, by the way, to bear in mind a celebrated maxim of Lord Chesterfield's which runs thus: “It is ad visable, before you expatiate on any particular virtue, and give way to what your imag ination may prompt you to say, to ascertain first whom you are speaking to.” The following will exemplify the necessity of this precaution: “My dear boy,” said a lady to a precocious youth of sixteen, “does your father design you to tread the intricate j-nd thorny paths of a profession, the straight and narrow ways of the ministry, or revel in the flowery fields of litera ture?” “No, marm;sdad ays he’s agoin to set me to work in the tater-field,” As an example of meaniog- less phraseology, take the fol lowing anecdote of O'Connell. In addressing a jury, and hav ing exhausted every ordinary epithet of abuse he stopped for a word, and then added, “This naufrageous ruffian*'’ When afterwards asked by his friends the meaning of the word, he confessed he did not know, but said he “thought it sounded well.” By this ad mission we are reminded of a certain critic who charged a fiowory orator with using “mixed metamorphosis;" and of an afflicted widower who recorded on the tombstone of his deceased wife that here lay the “meretricious mother ot fourteen children.”— h&ts Jownal. LIES ON THE WITNESS-STAND From the New York Observer. BREAD ON THE WATERS. William Bradley was the name given to a parentless, friendless waif, picked up and placed in the care of the Chil dren’s Aid Society. In 1866 he was the last, rejected spec imen, out of a lot of forty, who had been forwarded to La Crosse, Wis., that they might be located and brought up among the people of that country. A kind Presbyte rian elder, out of sheer pity for a child whom nobody would accept, carried him to his quiet, thrifty farmer’s home. Under tender treat ment the puny, deformed, ir ritable and unknown child grew, and beneath a faithful Christian teaching he came to know and love the Son of man, who came to seek and save that which was lost. Af* ter a weary, painful struggle through all his life with iaher- ited disease, William was laid to bis rest a few months ago by mourning acquaintances. But be had learned the lesson of giving. From his frugal savings he seat back one bun' dred dollars to perpetuate the good done by the agency that picked him up aud saved him from iufamy. Another bene faction he left to aid a Chris tian school near him, the Galesviile University. Tnas- mach as ye have done it unto one of the least of these,’ etc. The reason given by the colored man for not going too near the hind legs of a famous roan mule was so satisfactory that we can afford to adopt it as an excuse for not doing a great many other things. “De reason,” he said, “why I neb- ber ’proach dat roan mule from de rear is dat Pm too fond of my family an’ don't belong to any Church nud der.” JOHN KNOX’SICOURTSHIP. ‘It is amazinf how many per sons have not the least regard for the sanctity of an oath/ said Judge Allison, in charging a ju ry. ‘They will come on a wit ness-stand, and swear to the most flagrant falsehoods. They do not seem to have the least appreciation of the enormity of the offence which they commit. We had an illustration of that to-day. A defender was alleg ed to be the owner of a valise in which had been found a number of burglar’s tools. He went on the witness-stand, and solemnly swore that he knew nothing whatever about the valise. Wit ness for the Commonwealth were emphatic, however, in their declaration that the article belonged to him. After the de fendant had been convicted, and when the face of his ownership could no longer injure him, he had the impudence to claim the valise as his property. A jury must use their judgement in de termining whether or not a wit ness is to be believed.’ The Judge has only exp^resaed a fact that is as clear as the day to every practitioner in the courts,' said an old criminal law yer who had heard the charge. The amount of untruth uncon sciously told or of downright perjury committed on the wit- i-stand 18 frightful. A law yer, as a rule, in the criminal courts particularly, proceeds on the assumption that every wit ness against him is withholdding something, unwittingly telling what is untrue, or is wilfully ly ing. No one is surprised or mov ed any more by seeing a witness tangled in a lie. Perhaps three- fourths of the persons tried in the criminal courts commit un blushing perjury when they take the stand in their own defence. The bench and bar, I am afraid, rather looks for that as the or • dinary thing. The man who swore that he had never seen the valise, and afterwards claimed it as hiB property is only a type. Many people who would not steal or cheat don’t hesitate to twist the truth when under oath. I don’t speak now of those who are so agitated by their feelings or regard for their interests that they perhaps uneonciously pre varicate. They make up anoth er class. Perhaps if more care were taken to impress witnesses with the importance of telling the exact truth, and if court of ficers would administer oaths in a I'efitting mnnner, and not run them off like an auctioneerknock- ing down an old stove, we should have less falsehood on the wit ness-stand. Most of all, clear cases of pcijury ought to be vis- John Knox,before the light of the Relormation broke up, trav elled among several honest fam ilies in the west of Scotland,wlio were converts to the Protestant religion. Particularly he visited oft Lord Ochiltree’s family, preaching the gospel privately to those who were willing to re ceive it. The lady and some of her family wej e converts. Her ladyship had a chamber, table, stool, and candlestick for the prophet, and one night about supper time said to him, “Mr. Knox,I think you are at a loss by want of a wife?” To which he said, “Madam, I think nobody will take such a wanderer as I.” To which she replied, “Sir, if that be your objection I will make an inquiry to find an an swer against our next meeting meeting.” The lady accordingly addressed herself to her eldest daughter, telling her she might be very happy if she c ould mar ry Mr. Knox, who would be a great reformer, and a credit to the church; but she despised the proposal,hoping that her ladyship wished her better than to marry a poor wanderer. The ludy ad dressed the second daughter, ■who answered as the eldest. Then the lady spoke to the third daughter, about nineteen years of age, who very faintly said, “Madam, I'll be very willing to marry him, but I fear he’ll not take me." To which the lady replied, “If that be all your ob jection I’ll soon get you an an swer.” Next night at supper the lady said, “Sir, I have been considering upon a wife for jou, and find one very willing.” To which Knox inquired: “Who is it, Madam?” My young daugh ter, sitting by your side at the table.” Then, addressing himself to the young lady, he said, “My bird, are you willing to marry me?'’ She answered, “Yes, sir; only I fear you will not be wil ling to take me.'’ He said, “ My bird, if you be willing to take me you must take your venture of God's providence as I do. I go through the country some times on foot, with a wallet on my arm and a Bible in it. You may put some things in for your self, and if I bid you take the waHet you must do it, and go when I go, and lodge where I lodg- /’ “Sir,” said she, “I’ll do all this.” “'Will you be as good as your word?” “Yea, I will.” Upon which the marriage was concluded. She went with him to Geneva. And as he was as cending a hill she got up to the top of it before him, and took the wallet on her arm, and sit ting down, said, “Nov, good rain, means courtship: when a man has the umbrella aud the woman the drippings, it indR cates marriage. To punch your umbrella into a person and then open it means, I dis like you. To wing your um^^ brella over j our head signi fies I am making a unisance of myself. To trail your um brella along the footpath means that tiie man behind you is thirsting for your blood. -To carry it at right angles under your arm signi fies that an eye is to be lost by the mail who follows you. To open an umbrella quickly, it is said, will frighten a mad bull. To put a cotton um brella by the side of a nice silk one signifies exchan ve is no robbery. To purchase an umbrella means 1 am not smart, but honest. I'o lend umbrella indicates lam a fool. To return an umbrella might mean something if any body ever did it. To turn an umbrella on a gust of wind presages profanity. To carry an umbrellajust high enough, to tear out men's eyes and knock off men’s hats, signifies I am a woman. To press an umberlla on your friend, say ing, “Ob, do take it; I would much rather you would thun not,” signifies telling a fib. To give a friend half of your um brella means that both of you will get wet. To carry it from home in the morning means it will clear off. ited with swift and severe pun ishment." As a tribute of affectionate respect to the memory of our loved aud lost, we scatter flowers upon their graves in humble faith that, though soon to wither to the World’s eye, there is in them a living germ of truth and tenderness which cannot perish, but which will clothe them again in immortal years with more of the fragrance and beauty of earth. Mrs. L. Reid, Matthew’s, N. C., says: I used Ba-own’s Iron Bitters ior geaer- ' aldebility and received great benefit.’* Just after the war I was passing the Sabbath at a hotel iu a place of great summer resort in the midst of a roman tic region of country. Atten ding the village church, at the close of the service the pastor greeted me kindly, and pres ently said, ‘We called your name out loudly a few Sun-, days ago.’ ‘Ah,’ said I, ‘and why?’ ‘We named a child after you'—it made a great sensa tion.’ ‘O the name, the whole name, I repealed the whole name, all the names.’ ‘Indeed, and pray what names were they, for I iiave not heard?’ ‘Samuel Irenseus Prime Abraham Lincoln Robinson.’ ‘And tne child lives?’ la^ks ed. He said it does, and I went to see it. It was a beau tiful babe. I liope it has grown up to be as good and loving a young man as it was lovely in its cradle eighteen vears ago.—Dr. Prime in N- Y. "Observer. man, am not I as good as my word!" LANGUA&E OF THE U1£BEELLA. One of the funny writers of the day has said that there is language of umbrellas as well as of flowers. For instance place your umbrella in a rack, and it will indicate that it is about to change owners. To open it quick in the street means that somebody’s eye is going to be put out; to shut it that a hat or two is going off. An umbrella carried over a woman, the man getting noth ing but the drippings of the “Ob, my buck!” is a coimnoii exola- claiiiation aiul expresses a world ot misery and siiflerlng. It is singular this paiu urise.s from such various cau.'-;es. Kidney disease, liver complaint, wast ing airections, cold, rhenmatisni, dys pepsia, overwork and nervous debility- are chief (iausos. When thus ailing seek prompt relief. It can be found best in Brown’s Iron Bitters. It builds up from the foundation by making the blood rich and pure. Leading pliysicians and ministers use aud recoineiid it. It luis cured many, and if you are a sull'en'r try it. LUTHER SHELDON, DKALKU I.V SASHES, DOORS, BLINDS, MOULDINGS, BRACKETS, STAIR RAILS, NEWELS, BUILDERS’ HARDWARE, PaiiitM, Oils., OliiMsi, FuUy AND BVILDINO MATEKIAL OF EVERY DBsiCitIPriON. Noe. IG W. Side Market Sqr. and 40 Roanoke Are. NORFOLK, .Va. ■ .ii'] m
The Orphans’ Friend (Oxford, N.C.)
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Aug. 10, 1883, edition 1
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